I have a saying “More Grace and Empathy. Less Entitled Expectations.”
One of my core values is grace. In my personal life, I want to extend grace when people need to change plans at the very last minute, get super busy and forget to return my texts, or just need a break from the pressure & chaos, life is demanding of them.
My intention is to have empathy & realize that people are doing the best that they can with the resources, time, & awareness that they have, and it’s not my place to hold them to my own personal standards.
I have witnessed a lot of “Should Shaming” lately. I see people being chastised for a whole manner of things. And the judgement usually originates because those judging are holding other people to their own personal values and codes of conduct.
Judging is quick, easy and CHEAP — it removes the responsibility of us embracing EMPATHY.
When we judge, we hold people to our own personal standards, without taking the time to acknowledge that we have NO IDEA what is actually happening in the other person’s life. We hurdle towards expecting and assuming, without allowing any room for the other person to be HUMAN and make mistakes.
For instance, I won’t indulge in the notion that I “should” be tethered to my phone, nor will I allow others to shame me because I am not responding/acting in the manner they are expecting. I get to choose where I spend my time, and what projects and relationships I will nurture. When I witness a sense of entitlement, assuming behaviors, or unrealistic expectations in how people expect me to relate to them, I tend to back away & refrain from further nourishing those type of relationships.
I aim to come from and stand in love, and that includes loving myself enough, to remove myself from another person’s shame storm. I know that if I come from a place of more love, more light and more grace, & someone still is not okay with my behavior or communication, well, then, that is something they will internally have to look into.
I am only accountable for how I show up in the world, I have no control of what people will think or how my communication will land in another person’s mind. With loving kindness and grace I will hold my own and then I will LET GO of needing everyone to approve and deem my actions as appropriate & worthy.
As we wade through a year that is saturated in judgment, should shaming, and a deep desire to blame everyone else for the mess we find ourselves in, can we EXTEND grace and empathy?
Can we aim to come from and stand in love? Can we let kindness be our baseline behavior?
Can we let go of holding people to our own expectations and standards and instead practice extending grace and love?
Soulfully Signing Off,