Framing Our Truth
Posted on October 05 2016
I pulled my Frame denim jeans from the wash and I thought about how much I absolutely love these jeans!
I had just listened to a section of Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton and the book had my mind contemplating authenticity and living our truths.
Some people might gasp at the price tag on Frame jeans. Some people might spend three times as much on a pair of jeans and own ten pairs. None of it is right, or wrong, good or bad. It is just preferences.
I know my identity is not in those Frame denim jeans. I know those denim jeans are not the source of my happiness and yet ohhh my goodness, they are my enjoyable preference!
For years I would down play how much I spent on my jeans. I would tell my friends, “Ohh this!? I have had this for ages!!!!” When in reality, I just kept it in my closet for a really long time. I was afraid they would judge me for my shopping habits, and if I “waited” long enough, I could play it off as something old. I totally admit, this is out right ridiculous on my part!!! And yet, I am completely guilty of doing, or not doing things, to try, and control, someone else’s thoughts towards me. Again, totally ridiculous!!!
And yet in a world that pushes their preferences, their standards, their rules, their “should’s” on us, and then judges us, for not fitting into their version of reality, it can be hard to show up as our true-authentic selves. I have so desperately sought people’s approval that I would do anything to outrun their judgement and disapproval.
Approval meant I was part of tribe. And if I am part of the tribe, then I will receive love and belonging. And if the tribe loves me and deems me worthy of belonging, than my mind, or rather my ego, would relax and say Ahh, see Jenn now you are worthy and valuable. Feeding my ego versus my soul was the game I was out to play for a long time.
I am huge extrovert, so I have A LOT of tribes, a lot of friends and a gigantic community. So that meant a lot of different opinions, preferences and rules to juggle. If one group approved of me, than another group might think I was stepping out of line. It was an exhausting and soul-sucking game.
Diluting our true essence for the approval of others is a dangerous game to play. When we live our lives seeking other people’s approval, or just trying to avoid their judgement, we slowly sell off and suffocate our own souls.
I find it so fascinating that people take their preferences and push those preferences onto others. Why do people make their likes the standard? We all see life through a certain filter based on our value systems, past experiences, our successes and our failures. However, just because life unfolded a certain way for us, doesn’t mean IT HAS to unfold the exact same way for the next person.
I would never judge someone for NOT wearing Frame jeans, and yet why do people feel like they have a right to judge someone for how much they spend on cotton twill fabric!?
And this is just over silly jeans. Why do we think OUR way has to be the chosen way for everyone else - especially when it comes to much heavier topics like marriage, religion, motherhood, politics, and ultimately how we each of us live our INDIVIDUAL lives!?
I cringe when people say “My intuition is saying you need to____X___”! Or even worse, when they say “God has placed it upon my heart to tell you _____x”!
As if their connection to God, trumps my connection to what my soul is whispering for me to do!!! Their connection to God is for THEM. And my connection is for me.
Intuition is incredibly personal. Intuition is a GPS system that is specifically wired and coded to each unique person. Intuition is not a one size fits all, cookie cutter phenomenon— your intuition is for you and you alone. And my intuition is for me and me alone.
What is right for you may not be a fit for me. And what is in alignment for me may not be right for you. And you know what - that is all okay, and it is all BEAUTIFUL. The world is teeming with 7.4 billion people, which means there are over 7.4 billion unique souls walking this planet. Your creator made you to be something phenomenal. Stop trying to fit into someone else’s mold. And stop trying to fit everyone else into your mold.
Just because something has landed on your hearts as your truth, doesn’t mean it should now be the golden-rule standard for everyone else around.
Your truth is your beautiful, shining soul bubbling to the surface whispering “Please LET me shine! Please wear me! Please let me be your identity!” And yet we so often squelch our soul to fit into someone else’s truth or, or we make our truth the standard that everyone else has to conform to.
Can we rock our truth and own it fully!? Not being afraid to be who we are at our core — whether that is indulging in expensive denim or being super frugal and never spending a dime!? Can we let our soul shine with no apologies and then let other people’s soul shine with no judgement!?
Can you be authentic and let go of seeking approval for your ways and behavior? And then you can let other people be their version of authentic!?
Something far greater than you wanted you here on planet earth. And that something made you exactly as you were meant to be with all your desires, wants, quirks and personality traits. And that something also made your neighbor. So let’s stop acting like we are the all knowing and our way is the only way! Let’s all let our souls truth shine and let’s allow the same respect for every single other citizen of spaceship earth!
A very wise mentor once said to me, being spiritual is being exactly who you are - it means we you are in alignment with who your creator made you to be.
To being exactly who you are! To letting your soul carry you versus letting the opinion and approvals of others carry you.
Be a your own SOUL carrier!