Posted on August 31 2013
My music is my audio caffeine. I am definitely a song-junkie and music is a very powerful artistic medium for me. I find so much inspiration in songs and their lyrics. My personal playlist on Spotify is over 101 songs long and almost every one one of those songs was my personal mantra at one moment in time. Some songs are my "jam" for life and some for just a period - but they all deeply resonate with me and have became the soundtrack of my thoughts and feelings. I will get to why "Burn" by Ellie Goulding is my current jam in a moment, but first the current state of things.
The past two weeks have had their fair share of headaches regarding Soul Carrier. It has been depleting at times, and when my blood sugar is on the ground and yet another fire needs to be put out - I think to myself "What the hell am I doing and WHY am I doing it!?" I think the WHY is probably the most important thing behind any action. Original intention can carry you pretty far when you are at the end of your rope, and things look bleak and feel dismal.
I never set out on this road because it was going to be easy - if you want something from a truly authentic-soul-fulfilling place you are going to have to pay your dues and set out on a long journey. Life is NOT linear and attachment to a straight-forward path with only one outcome is pretty unrealistic. But when your intention is to bring to the world a vision, to see a brand from concept to fruition, to shine so that others can be inspired, well, well then you give it your all, and you BURN.
"When the light's turning down, they don't know what they heard
Strike the match, play it loud, giving love to the world
We'll be raising our hands, shining up to the sky
'Cause we got the fire, fire, fire
Yeah we got the fire, fire, fire
And we gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn
We gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn
Gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn
We gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn" -- Ellie Goulding
Yesterday, I took a 6 hour red-eye flight to have a two hour business meeting, and then turned around and got right back on the plane. I went in my yoga clothes, changed in a Saks Fifth Ave bathroom, brushing my teeth and putting on six inch heels and a dress. As I walked ten blocks to my destination with two heavy duffel bags full of samples, fabric, laptop and ipad, I felt the BURN.
Soul Carrier is my baby and I am going to see it through until FRUITION. I am partially there, but the road ahead is longer than the path that is behind me. I am not doing this for money, fame or attention - I am doing this BECAUSE when I am creating, when I am in design meetings pulling out fabric and looking at potential thread colors, I come ALIVE and I feel like a little kid in a candy shop. I love it, I love with all of my being and soul. Creating and designing is one of my FAVORITE things in the world - but it is going to take some BURN to get there. But I am ready - tired and weary as I am - at the end of the day as Ellie says "We got the fire...and we gonna let it burn...giving love the world." Soul Carrier is my love to the world - that is my intention that is my WHY.