The Ring of Candy

Jennifer Boonlorn

Posted on February 05 2013

I have a friend, a really close one at that, who has the most bizarre cell phone plan. He can’t text you back unless he texts you first, he has no free calling minutes, no smart phone, no internet, no mail – just an old-fashioned flip phone circa 1990’s.

And this is a guy who has an extremely high up position at the United Nations, traveling to every country in the world for both business and pleasure. He is very accomplished and has all the money in the world to buy whatever tech gadget he so desires. But he chooses not to be plugged in.

Whenever I am in NYC and we run into mutual friends, he tells our friends to text me, because you can’t get a hold of him unless you email him first.

 We all love to make fun of him – but I think he is onto something.

 I don’t talk to Brian everyday or even every month for that matter. But when we do get together it is a solid-undivided-attention-type of get together. Our conversation is not scattered or broken up by the constant dinging of texts and incoming calls.

 Our friendship isn’t based on the need for constant contact and honestly it is one of my favorite friendships and I always come away feeling inspired and refueled after being in Brian’s presence. Because Brian is truly PRESENT and our conversation has weight to it.

 The more life moves forward, I prefer “present” over little snippets of frantic moments.


This is my mission, to be truly present and in alignment with my soul. It is not an easy task, while living in a society that treats constant contact as the equivalent of answering the call to an emergency.


But as another truly present soul said to me – you are entering and coming into my day and my realm when you text me – I don’t have to drop everything and scramble over myself to get back to you and text back instantly – thank you Katie Ho (prophet-warrior girl ;-)) It does seem a little self-entitled to think that others should drop everything & get back to us immediately simply because "texting" only takes a second. We have no idea what is ALREADY going on in their day.


We all have responsibilities and tasks that require our attention, our duties should be to that first, anything else is an outside diversion. And it is disturbing to me that society has conditioned us to treat quickly attending to our phone as our first priority.


I am not a doctor, a police officer, paramedic, or a fire fighter– so even if it is a life-threatening emergency I am not the one that can put out the fire in that moment! Especially if I am driving – my sole task is to get to my next destination without running into anything or anyone – and anyone who has seen my car already knows that isn’t easy for me ;-)))


I will get to whatever it is on the other side of that text, when I can, if I can.


I am not perfect – I can feel the rise of curiosity when I am in one setting and my phone starts going off – it is like a little piece of candy –we so want a bite, because the promise of whatever it is on the other side of that message is somehow more tantalizing than whatever we are doing in the present moment. But I don’t want to exist on candy – I want solid-present moments and to build a life that is more than a series of dings….


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