Goodbye SHOULD

Jennifer Boonlorn

Posted on June 01 2014

The concept of judging has been on my mind a lot lately. Judgment usually takes place when people think their way of life is THE STANDARD, and anything outside of this way is wrong, less than or not good enough.


When we judge, we are projecting our standards onto the person we are judging. And if those we are judging seem to be diverting from the path we have chosen as the “correct path” we think we have the right to deduce their ways as wrong or less than.


We become fixated on correcting someone else’s life versus living out our own. I personally would rather take all that energy and work on my life and living it to its potential!


Trying to fix, save or push someone else down in order to make myself feel better about my own life is a precious waste of time, energy and mental power! I would rather take those resources and create – create my own amazing life.


I want to grant people the freedom to live a life that is best suited to their own journey and path (not according to my path or journey)! And in return, it would be awesome if people could respect and acknowledge that the way I live my life is based on how I want to live my life. People can have their opinions and criticism, but I will no longer re-mold myself to fit those opinions and criticism.


I saw a quote on Instagram that said “Successful people don’t worry about other people’s business”. However, we seem to live in world that is quite busy worrying about other people’s business! We are so busy trying to correct others that we don’t self-correct ourselves.


I know I have my own share of issues, lessons and fears to conquer – pushing and projecting them onto someone else is NOT going to clear up my own muck. In fact, it will only delay my own healing process and the ability to get back in alignment with my own authentic truth.


We all have our own, unique lives to live out. And we all have our own individual intuitions. Intuitions that won’t let us down if we take the time to really listen and follow them. We can stop worrying about others to make the right decision and start worrying that we make the right decisions for own lives!


To say the way we do things is how EVERYONE ELSE should do things, is pure judgment. The only should we should be following is our own! I cringe every time I hear the word “should” – the only should I will follow is my own intuition and listening to that inner voice that pushes and prods me. And I will absolutely NOT tell other people that my “should” is how they ought to live their life.


I get that we have rules, commandments and laws – it keeps society running smoothly and in an orderly manner. But what I am talking about are those smaller rules – do this, don’t do that, be more of this, be less of that! That noise that nags, belittles, and chips away at a person’s soul because they are not fitting someone else’s pre-determined mold.


Don’t fit anyone’s mold but your own! And think twice before you go and judge someone else, it isn’t any of your business whether they fit the mold/standard you have chosen for your own life. Life your life and let them live theirs.


To being a mold breaker. To being authentic and nothing more. To letting my soul direct my life -- not someone else’s rules.








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